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FeNo posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 8:05pm for Birthday Gifts

Great job, Lupin! Ever wasted a nanosecond to think that Harry has only truly horrific memories of his childhood and now as a teenager shares all the loss and lonelyness with you stout and worldly adults but has none of the good memories to take comfort from? All the faces you don't want to remember he CAN'T as he does know next to nothing about them, thanks to your sensibilities.

That aside when has it ever been a good idea to close away your happy memories and wallow in the pain and grief of "everybody i cared for is dead"???

Magic must have an effect on neurons or so, otherwise Harry's life can't be explained in any form shape or manner...

potter169 posted a comment on Friday 9th May 2014 11:08am for Birthday Gifts

Your portrayal of the twins is the best I've ever read, I laugh everytime they pop up, haha, also glad to see Harry get put in his place by Lupin, his pissy attitude is starting to annoy me!

cdunphy posted a comment on Thursday 27th January 2011 1:06am for Birthday Gifts

hi I will try to explain something for you and I hope you understand what I am trying to say. When I read books alot of times I am just hearing it the story that is and some of the best books I have read are like that but the ones I like best and in the end they dont even have to be a good story some how have me in the story like I am a part of the narrative, from the first chapter of this story I am there living it so to speak,so I dont know if this is a good story yet but you have the gift of putting me in the story and for that I thank you.

Fic Chick posted a comment on Sunday 28th February 2010 12:18am for Birthday Gifts

Cookie is an American term. The Brits call them biscuits.

TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Tuesday 12th June 2007 6:51am for Birthday Gifts



hp4all posted a comment on Monday 21st May 2007 6:04am for Birthday Gifts

Why is this chapter numbered to be seven? It follows chapter five, and should be six.

I remember that in the early versions Snape said something along the lines of "I always wanted to know how it ended" after Harry pushed the prophecy into Snape's head. Was this sentence editted out on purpose?

The rest of the will reading seemed unchanged, except the venue. Oh, and the thoughtful frown by Ted when he heard the amount of each share.

I also noticed that Hermione is 15 and her age is mentioned explicitely. I can bet my house that Hermione was her canon age in one of your most recent updates, but that could have been "the last Horcrux".

I spotted some erroneous grammar:
'“You should BE apologise for asking such an impertinent question!” she whispered angrily.'
"BE" seems out of place here, unless Mrs. Malfoy lost her command of English after hearing the accusation from Harry.

It is always a please to see your update, even if it is just a new edit. The only thing that worries me with this edit is it's not going to be finished before book 7 comes out, and the said book would prompt yet another major edit.

All the best,

Full_Pensieve replied:

Thank you for the various catches, David - I have appreciated your reviews over the years.  I've made appropriate changes throughout.  This is what comes of working without a beta at this time (who would I subject to this mess, for goodness' sake?)  There are a few more changes than you pointed out but they're subtle ones.  Some will come home to roost, however.

HBP (aka Harry Potter and the Deathly Shallows) didn't prompt this edit, although I'm borrowing from it as is my wont.  I was already doing that in YoR the First.  For example, some readers took notice of my placement of the Half Blood Prince's potions textbook in the prior CH 35.  The reason for Redux is that I was away from YoR for nearly a year, and therefore (a) couldn't remember some of it, and (b) realized that there was no way I could ever complete it with the number of open plot threads I had created.  Deathly Hallows won't affect me one way or the other; I'll either finish this eventually or I won't. [shrugs]


Crys posted a comment on Monday 21st May 2007 1:55am for Birthday Gifts

> Over the course of a few hours, he had found out that . . .
Big day. Helluva chapter.

I'd be interested in two things.

1) Did Draco (and Snape) conjure a mirror for the "who do you care for the most" part? ;)

2) Was Dumbledore the first one Harry talked to about "who do you care for"? Cuz if he wasn't the first, then he could have said that with no ill effects and had Harry actually believe it yet it not be true.

> Mrs. Weasley said to Ron, “We’ve always been rich, Ron. Now we have some money to go with it.”
Nice try, Molly. He's just too damn greedy, though.

Ron's being an absolute ass about the money and Hermione. If he wants to go after Hermione, do so. Not making a move yourself yet doing everything to keep everyone else away is just selfish to the extreme.

Expected Ginny's reaction. Her low self-esteem makes sense after I've thought about it. Any reason for the violin, or just a throw-away line?

How'd Remus phrase it? Sirius had a tendency to stir up the pot then leave. Jeez, talk about an exit.

Full_Pensieve replied:


Thanks for the review, man!  Now to your points:

(1) R-O-T-F-L-M-A-O !!  Should have written that in, eh?

(2) Ha!  You caught that, did you?  Sirius's instructions said to talk to the person you cared for the most, and said that spouses were excluded - nothing more.  What would prevent someone from speaking to virtually everyone in the room?  What would require a person to speak to the one they cared for the most first ?  Dumbles is a canny old sod. ;-) 

(3) Ron has his reasons for being an ass, which became clearer in CH 13 of YoR the First and will remain the same in Redux.

(4) Ginny is a fourteen year old girl, despite now-canonical efforts to make her into something else.  The violin is most certainly not a throw-away line. :-)

(5) Part of my initial personal charter in writing YoR was to see for myself how large a deceased character could loom.  I wasn't pleased with Sirius's death - LOL.

It sounds like you've not read YoR the First, so welcome to Redux.  I hope you have an interest in continuing to review, as it is nice to get feedback from a fresh set of eyes.


Mike [FP]

brad posted a comment on Saturday 19th May 2007 5:53pm for Birthday Gifts

I didn't receive any e-mail notification messages for these two chapters; did you remember to tick the box? :-)

A delight to re-read this story. It's really quite hard to stop grabbing the original version and soldiering on until 4am. I love stories that make me want to do that.

As you made me privy to one of your plot secrets in a chat session I took special notice this time around of the 'Phasma transtuli' spell, and also Harry's note that Voldemort's voice had changed, was deeper. It was also good fun to catch all the references to Harry's uncontrolled ... 'empathy', is that the term?

A really effective atmosphere of people on edge and friction abounding in these two chapters; sometimes it seemed like almost no-one was in control of their emotions. No wonder Harry had such a tough time of it!

Loved the whole reading of the will thing, of course. I think YoR was one of the first fanfics I found, 3.5+ years ago, and I remember marvelling then at the hoops that Sirius put everyone through and the undercurrents of the various relationships that were uncovered. I've read other stories with the big 'Sirius Will Reading' scene, but I gather YoR was one of the first? And certainly the classiest!

When I first read the beginnings of YoR, years ago, I wasn't - I hate to say it! - a H/Hr man. In fact I didn't really know what 'shipping' was. Needless to say I really enjoyed seeing Hermione again. I've always remembered their words in the 'caring' round, but their little scene affected me more, I think, this time around than before. Probably because I hooked all this into what I know is coming up ... Hermione's suffering for Harry's secret, the attack at the Grangers', Intermezzo (of course) and her recent birthday gift. I'm a fellow who always loves to re-read his favourite books, but I think YoR in particular is something that has so much detail, so many interconnecting threads, it will be especially amenable to re-reads; one part reminding one of another, and so on. Reading Harry's statement - "he didn't hesitate for a moment" - that he would sacrifice himself for Hermione made me think of all those other times in the book, that analogy he mentioned to Dumbledore at the birthday party ("Hermione ran out of the room"), etc. Sorry, I'm waffling. The Will Reading was a great crucible for putting all these people together and setting the stage for future relationships to be forged. And when Hermione wiped her eyes I felt much the same.

A couple of little spelling mistakes - I should take note of them as I read, shouldn't I? One is Mrs. Malfoy saying "You should be apologise for asking such an impertinent question!".

Mr. Granger states that Hermione is still only 15. I believe canon Hermione is almost a year older than Harry, so she'd be approaching 17 at the end of their fifth year. You're intending to keep her younger in your novel?

Still, if you continue to have a Ginny with a pointy nose, big ears and a flat chest I guess you're happy to buck canon! :-)

Exciting chapters; like Harry, I agree that there was a lot packed into them! Thank you.

Full_Pensieve replied:

Tick what box?  Sorry, I'm lost on that one.

I wrote and posted Sirius's will reading about a month after OotP was released, so I suppose YoR was among the earlier fics to pursue this line of enquiry.

Some of what you cited from YoR the First may be the same; some may be shaped differently; and some may be absent -- just offering a fair warning.  But yes, Redux has an edgier feel, and intentionally so. 

Ginny is short-statured, slender and has some semblance of the family nose.  That's what we knew before she was transformed into... whatever she was transformed into for the purposes of HP and the Deathly Shallows.  As for her response at the will reading, keep in mind that she was reacting in a panic -- that's a likely place to bring out the worst in one's self-perception.  Not her best moment, but how would a fourteen-year-old girl react to the prospect of a humiliating hex in front of someone she finds at least somewhat fanciable (to borrow Hermione's odd turn-of-phrase)? 

Expect more exposition on that point during Harry's birthday party.  Keep in mind that YoR Redux is listed under "General".


Mike [FP] 

atlantis-rob posted a comment on Saturday 19th May 2007 2:12am for Birthday Gifts

Fabulous work on the rework of the last 2 chapters, the previous one felt very different and I definetly can remember a few changes to this one! I dig the changes you've made that have definetly helped smooth the flow and raise the emotion/etc a good bit. Cheers!!!

Full_Pensieve replied:

It's edgier, isn't it?  I'm not quite sure if it's edgier than I intend, but I did intend for sharper edges.  Harry's not under a clear enough threat in YoR the First.  Expect more changes along that line.


Mike [FP]

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Thursday 17th May 2007 9:24am for Birthday Gifts

Heh, now -that- is leaving them with a bang. It all sounds so totally Sirius, too. I suspect the repercussions of this one will be echoing for quite a while, esp. as Harry and Hermione start coming to grips with how they feel for one another.

*snicker* I almost feel sorry for Severus Snape and Draco Malfoy, Sirius' delightfully twisted sense of humor is lost on them.

Full_Pensieve replied:

Heck, in YoR the First, the repercussions were still playing out after 400,000 words - LOL! 

Any sense of humor is lost on Snape.  He's the Grinch with bad hair and a cloak.  Hopefully canon!Snape's heart will remain three sizes too small.  (Please, please, please, Jo... don't redeem him!  Even if he's going to do something beneficial for Harry, please have him remain a heartless, malevolent bastard.)  As for Draco, the canon version seems headed for redemption of some sort.  I'm not deeply opposed to that.  Both canon!Draco and YoR!Draco seek a sort of change; neither knows how to go about it.


Mike [FP]