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FeNo posted a comment on Sunday 30th November 2014 3:47pm

You can't be serious with Mr Malaprop, can you?

I like this little mystery about who kills the people all over the place... Funny that they bear down so hard on Hogwarts... and nobody seems to investigate the old-old crowd although there certainly are some highly qualified and motivated killers in that group. Weird, isn't it? that a lot of people like Maupassant, de Flandres, Dedderidge or Covelli appears in England and mysterious deaths start to happen out of the blue sky? Especially since it seems to get closer and closer to the well known Death Eaters.

Don't like Dumbledore though. Despite anything he still holds "but that would devastate/decimate the bloodlines of old families because they are the ones fighting with Voldemort" as a valid argument why to be lenient in the rules of engagement? And then sees no way to prevent another Dark Lord from rising before it's too late? Well there you have your problem... if the old families get protected from the consequences of their vile deeds every time a civil war breaks out they will think nothing about taking part in the next one and the one after that again!

If they leave bloodlines bled out? So be it, they do not seem to be overly concerned with letting the Potter or Longbottom or Bones lines continue, do they? So the only answer can be "rather them than us" and Fudge will have no more friends oiling his pockets with gold and small pleasant gifts to sway his mind towards kowtowing before the idiotic bloodpurity ideas! That people like Dawlish are allowed to work in Law Enforcement shows how right Hermione is when she calls that society rotten and unsalvageable... A pity that they would not just extinct each other if you'd draw a wall around Britain and put a lid on top of it, the muggles deserve some protection against this lunacy.

Sooo ... that's the end. And nothing really got resolved, Harry still has his anger problems, still has most of the effects of Snape's vile mindraping and Heather didn't get real help either.

There are some Hermione mentions and moments in the last three incomplete chapter drafts, but their romance never really had place to breathe and work in a way your readers could follow it and see the steps it advanced in... Closest to it was the time between him finding out about the mcIlvaine contract and the meeting with Madam McIlvaine... still i mor eor less see that as another lost chance as Harry could have confided with that in Hermione far sooner and it would have strengthened their bond far better than any public display. Yeah he has got trust issues and Hermoine wasn#t the best to lend an open ear over much of the year, but if he is serious about advancing his relationship with Ms Granger and if he WAS serious about ending everything with Heather before Lockemort stepped in and blanked her mind out, he should understand that he has to do a lot of trusting until she'll get over her own issues and i can really not see why Hermione should not be deserving of his trust, so why not invest in the relationship that way?

In the end i think a lot of the reason why this story ended the way it did is that it frayed out widely at the rims... you've got a giant cast of characters we would need to see regularly to get the feeling of the story going along fine, there are so many secrets, so many issues, so many agendas and nothing ever really got resolved and thus made it easier to follow up on it. Taken as a total that means the once simple story now tries to follow twenty five or so vectors that all would demand a lot of time, attention and detail and after almost half a million words it seems not as if it is possible to come up with a smooth way to do this any time soon and without throwing another half a shelf of books into the mix.

I do appreciate a lot of what you've done, there were some truly inspired moments and it is obvious that nobody would bother to follow a story to the bitter(-sweet) end if it was not worth the time spent reading it. There were some great chapters and i more or less fevered along with Harry and Hermione all the time... but i think i have shown some points where it also was less than absolutely enjoyable and sometimes it was hard to not just shut the window on my browser and be done with it. Teenage angst and anxiety is a real thing and stories dealing with the years between GOF and HBP surely have to include a healthy dose of it, but that's just it... the dose it took on in this story at times was overly high and neared the state of poison. Which is sad to think of.

But i also hope you'll one day think about returning to fanfiction and add some more of these wonderful ideas, scenes and characters to the plenitude found on the internets as every writer with your style and maturity is a big loss to the community which so easily gets flooded with the young and enthusiastic but not overly talented masses.

FeNo posted a comment on Saturday 29th November 2014 10:34am

Oh noes you didn't?

An honest, emotional, positive reaction from Harry? Not a wild rant that shocks everybody into terrorized frenzy? No magical outburst flattening whole rooms? No bitter feelings that poison the way he deals with closest friends for weeks on end?

Whow i like that :D

As for Croaker... he's a stubborn, shortsighted hypocrite of an arrogant, selfenamored coward. How can you in the same discussion first defend a position that muggleborn blood is needed to keep the wizarding society healthy and working and then turn around and oppose the same reasoning for muggleborn thoughts and ideas?

That's exactly the mindset (nothing will ever be allowed to change as it is the godgiven rule of things) that condemned India, imperial China and Japan to a painful and dishonorable death under the greedy paws of the western powers. Stagnation, even if you call it tradition or the proper order of things, always leads to death of civilization as they will be overthrown by more open concepts. Adaption keeps alive.

And even if it did not doom the wizarding world to some great glorified last stand some time relatively soon in the future where it either will be broken down and changed by force or will be annihilated and extinct by the muggles, his stance - as Harry has already said - is the fig leaf behind which Death Eaters and similar psychopaths willingly can hide and commit their atrocities in the name of "the status quo", "the right order of things" and "traditions". They can't even admit that there are bad muggleborns and good muggleborns, powerful ones and weak ones, just as the same four characteristics are valid for purebloods and halfbloods alike. How can they ever hope to get rid of the Dark Lord problems if whenever another DL has been vanquished they take their old prejudices up from amongst the corpses and ruins, polish them some up until they shine and sparkle again and put them back up on the altar of unconditional adulation?

Croaker might truly not see himself as an intolerant racist, but his kind of mindset is exactly what makes the Death Eaters and their slightly more moderate audience possible and causes the murderous conflicts time and again. And thus it has to go. Either by intelligent discussion and consent or if that is no longer possible by kicking those morons to the moon and back until it got hammered into their wooden, stubborn, thickskulled brains.

FeNo posted a comment on Friday 28th November 2014 6:13pm

Okay, that sealed the deal. Seems like Lockhart is Riddle's newest "Eggar Suit" (SCNR this little MiB reference ;)) and that would explain a lot, e.g. the pink, soft hands of Voldemort or how Locky could ever recover from having his brain fried up worse than Nicola's was... I just hope that the wizards will not need too long to get this information together, after all Heather all but accused him to be a monster!

As for Albus... he should really get a big kick into his bony backside. Again he punishes Harry for things outside of his influence. Does that hypocrite ever think about what he does? Harry was already on the brink due to the lust/love problem and the confrontation with Heather to finish it, then the distress about the overly strong reaction of the girl to the mass of people in the line and how strong their emotions washed over her, including the Dark Lord's ones was directly followed by another anxiousness... that if Heather would survive the obliviation without long term consequences...

And of course he couldn't be expected to be in best terms with Gilderoy after what the man tried to rip of in the chamber ever again... yet Albus doesn't even hesitate to dish out sanctions. Has he lost his last feeble rests of sanity? I really count on Lucia to take a pound of flesh from the old sanctimonious fool for this evening!

I can see how you arrived at the idea to this story... there is a lot of anger in Harry in the fifth book and it really should at least stay at the same level a year later. Especially with losing Sirius and having more reason to feel responsible for this death than a year earlier for Cedric's murder...

Still i've got a lot of problems with the absolute lack of positive aspects to this long and elaborate story. It's overflowing with anger and even rage and not just by Harry, but by next to every single character appearing. The only two that have not yet shown a real snit probably were Luna and Heather and this much shouting and frothing is just a bit much to stomach, all the more as the story reall IS a giant piece of prose. It's just that the longer this went and the more things heaped up to be angry about and the more bridges seemed to be burned it makes it all the less believable that the story ever can resolve this extreme mess... Which is truly sad as with 9 years of creating it and all these words, it would be a pity to never see it finished and closed (and yes i already know the epilogue/only drafted story parts as i direly needed a push in motivation and looked for the final pairing sometime around the big breakup with Remus about Heather).

I absolutely admire the creativity and versatility that has flown into this work. I just don't know if i could stomach the amount of disagreement and hostility for another quarter million words (or more). Everything in life needs some balance and even angry!Harry should from time to time get a chance to relax or talk in something below the noise level of a starting Jumbo Jet... For Godric's sake! Any time a talk seems to promise some small success in clearing a misunderstanding or bringing two persons to the same level of knowledge or understanding it turns into a competition who is more easily riled into throwing the first punch or whatever. That's an awful lot of suffering even if you just tried to portray the characters as moody teenagers who are a bit victims of their own hormonal fluctuations. Yet that would not excuse why the adults seem almost worse than the teenagers though!

FeNo posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 8:05pm

Great job, Lupin! Ever wasted a nanosecond to think that Harry has only truly horrific memories of his childhood and now as a teenager shares all the loss and lonelyness with you stout and worldly adults but has none of the good memories to take comfort from? All the faces you don't want to remember he CAN'T as he does know next to nothing about them, thanks to your sensibilities.

That aside when has it ever been a good idea to close away your happy memories and wallow in the pain and grief of "everybody i cared for is dead"???

Magic must have an effect on neurons or so, otherwise Harry's life can't be explained in any form shape or manner...

FeNo posted a comment on Sunday 23rd November 2014 7:25pm

Well okay....?

Right now i'm feeling like Ron... dumb, confused, irritated almost to the breaking point and everything new read is annoying me more and more.

Can't these people have a decent talk? Nobody since the start of this has bothered to explain anythíng to the end. Everything stays vague or is just wiped away with a "fine" or "it's nothing" and instead of asking for clarification they explode after the first bit that's somewhat cross... Even Hermione acts completely hair-triggered and irrational and she's just about the best of the bunch.

Basically you are acting as an author as Dumbledore is shown to act in the books. half truths, unfinished statements and carefully compartmentalized bits of knowledge for all characters and your audience.

Are you consciously baiting people to flame you and try their "Harry voice" on you?

Bobsama posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 8:47am

Ok. First time reading this all through. Started a few days back--this is certainly epic-length, especially at >500K words and understandably unfinished. There were a fair few unresolved plots in all this, mostly going back to the earliest chapters. Aspects like Sirius's will (and the contracts) seemed to be a bigger deal for Hermione & Harry, but fell by the wayside quite quickly. While it's understandable that contracts on minors weren't binding, Hermione made it a point to honor the contract even after it was withdrawn. And Ginny still wrought the consequences of the contract after cursing Sirius's name.

Aside from those original premises, it's hard to remember much in the way of mistakes. It's certainly a thrilling tale, engaging and dramatic. I wasn't always a fan of how busy things always were (having 5 chapters cover 5 days or the like). Same goes for the occlumency/legilimency bits, as they were alluded to (probably conciously) but then dumped after Harry gets reasonably good at occlumency. Same goes for Heather Magraver--I'd have liked to hear more from her even if just in correspondence. Attached to that arc would be Lockhart's future actions, as MacLeish essentially allowed him to destroy a prize asset of his company. His and Covelli's daughter as well--a one-time point but cirumstances never developed it further. I did like how you wrote it overall, as MacLeish is strong-minded and playing his own hand...

Next up, I do like how you, at least in a large way, pulled Hermione back from darkness. It's rare that it's Hermione or one of Harry's friends that go dark, especially when the others don't follow them. The very same, the bit with Snape continuing a role is tough--a spider under the bed if you will. After dismissal, he's invisible until he's apparently teaching Hermione to duel.

Much of this could/would have been contineud, I'm sure, if you hadn't read HBP/DH. I made it a point of reading HBP with one eyebrow raised and put aside DH when Ron was readmitted to the horcrux hunt. Things got too strange for me, so I cherished PS through OotP. JK Rowling has vindicated the Harry/Hermione pairing and, with that, I think discounted those last two books. That leaves me to fanfiction, such as this incomplete masterpiece. You left many possibilities for continuation, but I'm not up to the task and, unfortunately, even the plot outlines are too foreign (not something I could imagine more than a few thousand words for). I do wonder if there's been derivatives from other authors, however. Perhaps you know of some?

Full_Pensieve replied:

Thank you for the very thoughtful review - and thank you for your persistence in reading this mess from front to back, lol.  First, I'd have to say that all of your criticisms are spot-on.  Many of them are rooted in the fact that Years of Rebellion was written in several bursts, with a fair bit of time elapsed between each.  

Chapters 1 through 18 as they exist here at FFA were the first burst; the original versions were completed between August 2003 and January 2004.  They've been revised twice since then, but not in a deeply substantive fashion.  Chapters 19 through 27 were written between May 2004 and October 2004, and chapters 28 and 29 between March and June of 2005.  These have been revised three times, once rather substantively.  The Intermezzos were written in their entirety between late November 2004 and early January 2005.  They have been revised once.

And then came Half-Blood Prince.  Urgh.

I had - and still have - an outline through to the end, and had a substantially more detailed treatment encompassing what is now Chapter 32 through somewhat beyond Chapter 45 when HBP was released.  It took me about two months to recover from that, at which point I started drafting The Last Horcrux.  At the same time, I embarked on Chapters 32 through 42, which were completed between September 2005 and June 2006.  I started releasing The Last Horcrux in late 2006, and had released what is now Chapters 1 through 13 of that fic, plus a different ending, in July 2007.

And then came Deathly Hallows.  Urgh.  URGH. :)

It took me about two months to recover from that as well.  Years of Rebellion Chapters 43 through 45 were completed - somewhat begrudgingly - over the next year or so.  That's the point at which some of the aforementioned revisions started.  I came back and finished The Last Horcrux in 2011 and 2012.

Maintaining continuity of several hundred thousand words over several years is not for the faint of heart.  HBP and DH are two big reasons why I haven't succeeded in picking up Years of Rebellion again.  However, the biggest is the sheer difficulty of picking up the beast again more than a decade after the start of it.  I was in my mid-30s when I started writing.  I can now stand on a phone book and see 50 looming in the distance.  I'm neither the same person nor living in the same world as when I began.  In between are three major bouts of chronic illness, a rather spectacular divorce, the Great Recession, two major moves, a son grown from toddlerhood to high school, the advent of social media and wireless technology as we know it, two HP books, and four HP films.   In addition to having HBP and DH in every reader's mind, I also have to deal with the indisputable fact that several of the things I incorporated in YoR have gone from being innovative (and in a couple of cases, unique) at the time they were written to being almost-reviled cliches today.  The differences along the way are visible in the text as it stands.  Years of Rebellion from Chapter 39 or thereabout reads rather differently than my prior work; it has more in common stylistically with the first half of The Last Horcrux than the preceding chapters of YoR.

To finish, I would almost have to start over, and I doubt I have that in me.  It would be hard to completely ignore HBP and DH, and no doubt the trolls of the fanfic world would insist that I incorporate details from Pottermore and such. (As I dislike the site from a user perspective, that's highly unlikely.)  I'll certainly never commit to revisiting YoR at this point.  If it should ever happen, the product will just appear without warning.   

To my knowledge, no one has ever tried to continue this fic.  If so, I've never been asked nor have I ever provided notes or input. 

Thanks again for the review, and feel free to pose any additional questions or comments as a subsequent review.  I still exist on FF.net, and can be PMed there as "FPyearsofrebellion"

Cheers,

Mike (Full Pensieve)

potter169 posted a comment on Saturday 10th May 2014 1:27am

tears, truly amazing story :(((

Full_Pensieve replied:

Thank you for the extensive series of reviews.  I admit to being very curious of your impressions of the remainder of this long-unfinished tale.  I took a big stab at trying to write a wrap up in 2013, and discovered how very difficult it is to pick up a story after several years' absence. 

It was made even more difficult by having the remainder of Ms. Rowling's canon in my head.  I did a quick re-read of Intermezzo II after noticing your reviews, and realized that I nailed the 'actual' Dumbledore's motivations - which HPYOR!Dumbledore goes on to repudiate (though as the story continues, the truthfulness of that remains in dispute).  HPYOR!Hermione almost gave canon!Snape's 'leading a pig to slaughter' speech, two years before it was in print.  Not sure it's really possible to go back and convincingly write horcrux-free!Harry and not-a-dark-lord!Dumbledore now.

The impact of canon on my Potter writing was really noticeable in the much darker (though capped by a long-delayed, hard-fought happy ending) HP and the Last Horcrux, which was written completely post-HBP and nearly all pre-DH.  Over the course of HBP, I lost my faith in canon!Dumbledore - sadly, never to be reclaimed. [Despite my canon loss of innocence and its effects on my view of the Potterverse, I'm more satisfied as a writer by Last Horcrux than by YoR.]

Again, thank you kindly for the reviews and for taking the time to read hundreds of thousands of words of my HP musings.

Take care,

Mike [FP] 

potter169 posted a comment on Friday 9th May 2014 11:44pm

This chapter was too depressing to read, how could you do this to Hermione?!! on top of that, you have Harry frolicking with Remus daughter all the while! I knew the story was too good to be true -_-

potter169 posted a comment on Friday 9th May 2014 7:25pm

Words cannot express how I feel about this story, it shouldn't be hidden here on this website very few know about, this is truly the greatest story I've ever read, really, I'm speechless!

potter169 posted a comment on Friday 9th May 2014 4:35pm

I simply cannot put this story down, I really can't! just completely in love with it, you're an artist you are!

potter169 posted a comment on Friday 9th May 2014 2:28pm

This is officially the greatest fic I've ever read, if I hadn't said that before? The subtle romance you have going on with H and Hr is something I've been searching for forever, and I've finally found it, and its better than anything I could have ever imagined, thank you so much!

and tbh, I was skeptical what kind of story this would turn out to be at first, with the absence of Hermione leaving a huge void in my desire to see H/Hr, than you just rock the boat completely with a string of H/Hr masterpiece of chapters!

you're truly gifted and talented, the best quality I've ever read, in a complete different spectrum from even proffessional authors, including JKR.. I hope you're doing well, again, tysvm

potter169 posted a comment on Friday 9th May 2014 1:46pm

Beautiful, absolutely beautiful, so much so that its brought tears to my eyes! This is without a question the best most touching HP fic I've ever read. HP that pushes everyone away is my favorite, yet everyone who cares about him won't have it, especially Hermione and Dumbledore, props to Dumbledore!

Also , the bond you've created between H and Hr, just incredible, I've never read anything so deep nearing the end of the chapter, love your Hermione, I wish I had a friend like her!

potter169 posted a comment on Friday 9th May 2014 12:50pm

Man what a brilliant story, you will probably never read these reviews but I can't help but post them, its just beautiful the way you have Harry interact with everyone, and save Hermione for last, I thought she would never make an appearance! lol

but when Harry lost it and left the party, and Hermione wouldn't let him go without her, thats just a very sweet moment, I love the way you handle Harry's personality toward Hermione as well, not fluffy at all, very serious actually, just what I've been looking for, keeps everything realistic :)

potter169 posted a comment on Friday 9th May 2014 11:08am

Your portrayal of the twins is the best I've ever read, I laugh everytime they pop up, haha, also glad to see Harry get put in his place by Lupin, his pissy attitude is starting to annoy me!

potter169 posted a comment on Friday 9th May 2014 8:43am

This story is so great, so touching, so beautifully written, I haven't chuckled so much reading through a story, LOL, your Sirius really knows how to stir the pot, the chaos that ensued had me on the floor!

potter169 posted a comment on Friday 9th May 2014 7:27am

“Can’t leave off the money, Fred,” George chimed in. “Ron’s never had two Knuts to rub together. You’re rolling in Galleons, Harry.”

--

Fred put his arm around Harry’s shoulder. “Harry, you’re more than just a friend and business partner. You’re like the brother we never had.”

“Fred, we have four brothers,” George pointed out.

“Right, then – you’re like the brother we should have had,” Fred added. “Percy is a genuine wanker, Charlie’s never around, Bill’s all about the shagging lately, and Ron’s gone ‘round the twist.”

--

LOL

spit out my beverage reading those lines, such quality story, the twins always bring the laughs :P

potter169 posted a comment on Friday 9th May 2014 6:31am

Brilliant story so far, love the pic of Tonks car at the end lol

sylvelle posted a comment on Monday 27th January 2014 2:19pm

The Isletta?? something like that. What happened to the 2nd trunk? Bothered me the first time I read this.

Tricia

cdunphy posted a comment on Saturday 9th March 2013 5:45pm

wow thats a bmw... I have read this before so apparently I like it thanks for the effort

CD

Cathy Ann Walker posted a comment on Saturday 27th October 2012 11:48am

>>Heather locked eyes with Lockhart. “Wha… you… how… YOU!” she spluttered.

>>“I’m sorry? I don’t believe we’ve met?” Lockhart said jauntily.

>>“How could you… how could you do the things you’ve done?” Heather thundered. She pulled herself free from Covelli, shaking all the while. “HOW COULD YOU?”

>>Lockhart took a step forward. “Clearly something is troubling you, young lady. I merely wished to compliment you on your performance – Celestina is right to say that you are remarkable.”

>>“HORRIBLE! HOW COULD YOU DO THOSE THINGS?” Heather railed at him.

Dumbledore tells Harry that Phasma Transluli was a ritual to transfer Voldemorts essense into another body to take it over and supress the other persons mind.

So Voldemor tookover Lockhardts body,because his mind was fractured from that failed obliviation in Harrys 2nd year downin the Chamber of Secrets. Lockhardt probably agreed to it, being the fraud that he is.