By Mike [FP]
Reviews
Frank Hacklander posted a comment on Thursday 7th June 2007 8:05am
in its original incarnation, this was always one of my favorites tales. i must say, though, that what irritated me about it then and now is how hermione and harry danced around one another. entirely plausible and in keeping with the story (you do it oh so well by the way). still, i hope that you don't end up subscribing to jkr's canon pairings that, perhaps without meaning to, just underscore the proposition that "purebloodedness" is important even when the purebloods involved claim to believe otherwise (if the "hero" ends up w/ the pureblood, that is). apologies for that rant, since i think you have done a great job capturing much of harry's awkwardness and teenage befuddlement about his best friend.
Full_Pensieve replied:
Thank you for the review, Frank. I want to respond thoughtfully here, because you've raised some very interesting points.
I think it's important to put the idea of 'dancing around' in perspective. The whole span of Part 1 of YoR the First (Chapters 1-19) took place in a week, during which Harry and Hermione had several major distractions to say the least. After almost 400,000 words, YoR the First had only covered about 45 days, in which the protagonists were separated by over a thousand miles for 25 of those days.
If one keeps with canon through the end of OotP, anything beyond friendship between Harry and Hermione is a significant paradigm shift. One of the things I loathe in fanfics is the instant summer romance with characters who have known each other for quite some time. There are a couple of plausible ways to write that, but they're rarely if ever followed.
As for following canon to underscore the importance of blood purity, that would cut rather sharply against the broader themes that ran through YoR the First and continue to run through YoR Redux. hga (Harold), who is a regular on the FFA Forums and a reluctantly-sucked-in reader of YoR, has described the YoR-verse as a dystopia - someplace where the social order has effectively failed, an anti-utopia.
There is a long and honored tradition of dystopic English literature, and I don't deny that I have drawn from that. I do view the British wizarding world as described by Ms. Rowling to be a failure - HBP only solidified that for me. Classism is a major theme in YoR and it generally plays in the negative.
If I were to follow canon 'pairings' (of which H/G, Lupin/Tonks and Bill/Fleur are the only actual pairings, BTW; calling Ron's comforting hug at the end of HBP 'R/Hr' is a stretch without more context in DH), it would be despite bloodlines.
Harry and Hermione are the protagonists of Years of Rebellion - that's a certainty. Beyond that, everything's up for grabs again. :-)
Cheers,
Mike [FP]
Crys posted a comment on Thursday 7th June 2007 7:41am
> "She said ‘almost everyone’, and ran out of the common room."
Hallelujah! The boy does have a clue. Even if he tries to rationalize it away later and re-enter the Land of Denial.
[more reading]
*sigh* Well, it was at least a a bright moment of clue-ed-ness.
> Each time that she began again, she seemed more confused.
Hmm. Okay, based on your response to my last review, what I assume it means, and this line, I think we can pinpoint when she fell for him. Or at least when most of her memory / focus was on him.
*growl* I hope Harry tells Shacklebolt the truth soon. Not like most of Shack's problems with Harry were actually Harry's fault. Not to mention Hermione's comment and Shack's probable assumption to it.
> Lupin sighed and shook his head. "If that’s how you see it…" he said.
It appears my hope was in vain. [Crys hands a clue-by-four to Remus.] Use it well, Remus.
Full_Pensieve replied:
"Clue-by-four"... R-O-T-F-L ! ! !
You have picked up on one tidbit, at any rate. As odd as it is to quote myself, I offer an exchange from HP and the Last Horcrux that may be of value; I think it applies to any characterization of Hermione that is rooted in canon:
Harry put his hand on Hermione’s shoulder. "Don’t you think —?" he began quietly.
"I think constantly, Harry," Hermione said coldly. "Please stay out of this."
Cheers,
Mike [FP]
Christopher Estep posted a comment on Thursday 7th June 2007 6:47am
What in heck is Hermione (heck, the Grangers for that matter) playing at? If I didn't know any better, IU'd think they are trying to fix Hermione up with *Harry*.
Turtle posted a comment on Thursday 7th June 2007 4:21am
Per your request, I'm posting this here.
Noticed a possible incontinuity... Chapter starts with "...half past eight". The portkey is set to go off "...at eight in the morning." Seems half past six might've fit better, shortly after Dobby had woken him up.
On a more general note, I really like the story. I really like how you've managed to get Sirius' motorbike to Harry both without getting Harry into trouble with Arthur and not bending the rules with nonsense of the bike being "grandfathered" in under old statutes.
I didn't read the old version, so I don't have any context there. I am happy to see that you're not abandoning a work; I like that you're instead reworking it to better fit where you want to go. Congratulations isn't quite right... Thank you? Keep up the excellent work.
-Turtle
Full_Pensieve replied:
Thanks, Turtle - you caught one, all right!
As I went back, I discovered that in fact you caught a four-year old error! I've changed it to a quarter past seven, and Dobby's wake-up call to seven; this is a sixteen-year old, after all, so we can't expect him to leave much of a margin - LOL.
I meant what I said about posting up these sorts of errors. I've no ego or pride on that score. If I can get it right or make it better with the help of readers, then I'm happy to do that.
Cheers,
Mike [FP]
Crys posted a comment on Thursday 7th June 2007 12:12am
As if casting the spell multiple times . . .
Hmph. Either it's multiple secrets (but then why must Harry be thinking of the one secret), or same secret across multiple people (which doesn't make sense as they weren't in the room).
The obvious answer is that Harry's subconscious has a secret he was thinking about (the 300 pound gorilla in the room that both teens are ignoring).
Interesting to see if that is indeed the secret and how locking it away will affect them and everyone else.
Full_Pensieve replied:
Why would Harry have to be the root of the problem?
Cheers,
Mike [FP]
Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Wednesday 6th June 2007 8:43pm
Great chapter, and really enjoy the way you're slowly drawing Harry and Hewrmione together, and will be looking forward to the next day, and the conversations with the parents.
Srikanth posted a comment on Wednesday 6th June 2007 8:06pm
At end of the chapter i am pretty confused abou the "safeguards. Could you please elaborate on them unless they become a plot point later?
That said good story
reimanr06 posted a comment on Wednesday 6th June 2007 4:13pm
Wow. I remember when this story was first posted, several years ago. I think it was August. It still amazes me how incredible this fic is as a body of fiction. Though the characters themselves are for the most part not original, your quality of writing far surpasses that of Ms. Rowling. It is a testament to your skills and dedication as a writer. I am especially awed by your perserverence in continuing through your periodic illness. I hope everything is going well with you and your family. How's the nephew?
Now that I've verged on creepiness, I'll turn to a less personal note. I seem to remember that orginally, Harry's party was at the Burrow and Tonks was drunk in Mr. Weasley's shed, possibly on top of an old washing machine. I also remember there were two chapters, like 11 and 12, that were deleted, as they veered off from the current plot line quite considerably. Do you still have those? I'm somewhat interested to reread them, though it is by no means a crucial matter.
Thank you for the all of the wonderful hours you have given to us so far. May there be many more to come. Good luck to you, sir, my hat is off.
Full_Pensieve replied:
ROTFL! You refer to the Chapters-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named! [boo, hiss!] ;-)
The chapters to which Reiman refers were written in September of 2003, and removed within a day or two of posting. They set the stage for a much more traditional H/Hr fic, which I quickly realized that I didn't want to write. It didn't veer toward the soul-bond sort of fic (not my cup of tea *at all*), but I think the result would have been rather pedestrian. A lot of readers won't and don't care for YoR - it's far from everyone's cup of tea - but I'm comfortable knowing that the story says what I wanted to say.
Thank you for the personal note, and no, I'm not creeped out - LOL. I am in the best health I've had in more than five years, and able to maintain myself in fair condition on a long term basis through the use of appropriate medications and regular workouts prescribed by my physical and occupational therapists. I have recovered the full use of both hands and am left with modest residual weakness in my right side limbs. The right side of my face is a bit rigid (more so at the end of the day), but it's not disfiguring; most people don't notice, or if they do, they think I've had Bell's palsy. I have retained most of my faculties, but my physical and mental energy varies a fair bit from day to day. All things considered, I can't be anything but grateful.
My son - who was little more than a toddler when this all began - is now 7, and increasingly interested in having me write something for him to read. The Nephew, who pushed me down this fanfic rabbit hole in the first place, graduates from high school tomorrow. His girlfriend has become enamored with YoR, but thinks I'm rather daft for writing it and completely mad for continuing.
Cheers,
Mike [FP]
Prince Charon posted a comment on Wednesday 6th June 2007 1:17pm
Interesting. Harry sure gets dumped on a lot, doesn't he? Sadly in character, though, and very well written.
Thank you for the update.
More soon, please.
Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Wednesday 6th June 2007 11:49am
*wicked chuckle* I like this Hermione, very direct and sure of what she wants. Methinks a lot of the wizarding world is going to be very, very surprised by what an emancipated and wery well-off harry may do; those with their own agendas, Dumbles included, will likely not appreciate his fresh take on matters.
es posted a comment on Wednesday 6th June 2007 8:14am
Holy crap, I lived just outside of Winchester for a couple of years.
Full_Pensieve replied:
LOL! There's an essay at the HP Lexicon that speculates on what parts of the UK the various students hail from. They gave a persuasive argument for why Hermione might hail from Winchester, so I took it to heart. In YoR the First, I had them in a very tony part of London, but there's a remark in canon that suggests they're farther from Kings Cross than the Dursleys.
Cheers,
Mike [FP]
warpwizard posted a comment on Wednesday 6th June 2007 8:04am
Ahhh, great stuff, lots of content.
Harry finally snaps in a believeable way.
I like the H/Hr interaction. It's not too perfect and in synch if you know what I mean.
Ron needs a swift kick to the sack.
What else can I say? WANT MOAR! :)
Crys posted a comment on Wednesday 6th June 2007 7:48am
Ron and his terminal foot-in-mouth disease . . .
Huh. Are you the originator of "Odd" Lovegood?
> "She said ‘almost everyone’, and ran out of the common room."
*sigh* I suppose all teens are this clueless, but it's still infuriating.
This conversation ought to be "fun".
Looking forward to more.
Full_Pensieve replied:
Yes, I 'm pretty sure I was the first to use Oddment, or "Odd", for Mr. Lovegood's first name - came up with that in August, 2003. Oddment was one of the four seemingly random words with which Dumbledore greeted Harry and the other students of Hogwarts in SS/PS. It's one of a few unique things I came up with along the way, none of which probably seem unique after four years.
Cheers,
Mike [FP]
Andrew Niehaus posted a comment on Wednesday 6th June 2007 7:27am
I have the stronget feeling that Ron isn't Ron, rather somneone polyjuiced to look like Ron. Why else would he keep trying to take girls into the Forest?
Or maybe the Brain really fraked with his mind. Either way, he isn't himself.
Hurry up and update again, this is a great story!
Melferd posted a comment on Wednesday 6th June 2007 7:26am
Hee. Hermionepower!!! It's nice to see here take the bit so forcefully.
The only person I've ever seen to have more suck-able birthdays is Buffy. They should start a club.
Thanks for more, still missing the wordy.
BTW, we still get the attempt on Ginny, right?? Cause Ron in freefall, way too fun to miss!!
FenrisWolf posted a comment on Wednesday 6th June 2007 4:55am
When all else fails, threaten the teenage boy with the girl's parents -- who happen to be dentists -- and who own a copy of 'The Marathon Man', starring Laurence Olivier. Can't wait to see how the rest of this tightens up before the conclusion!
Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Wednesday 6th June 2007 4:52am
An impressive chapter here, and interesting the way things keep going for everyone. Ron is being an idiot to say the least, and Luna is more forgiving that I would imagine almost any girl, except my wife, adn that's just cause she maried me, LOL. Anyhoo, interesting the way things played out, and Mrs. Granfger appears to be warming to Harry some, but she has a long way to go, considering how her husband is, and wonder what else Dumbledore has up his sleeve, and what this act of rebellion will cost Harry.
Muggleborn Prince posted a comment on Wednesday 6th June 2007 4:47am
UPDATE PLEASE!!!!!!!!! I love this story.
jb238 posted a comment on Tuesday 5th June 2007 6:34am
Wonderful story. I read the first version twice.
There are a few references to "shed" in this chapter. This is a bit confusing as the party is now held at the shrieking shack and not at the Burrow. Also a reference to a dismanteled TV.
Full_Pensieve replied:
Found the television reference, which should have come out. I've re-read twice and run a Find search on 'shed' and still can't find any instances of that. If I spot them, they'll come out as well.
Cheers,
Mike [FP]
Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Thursday 7th June 2007 1:48pm