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Reviews

jackstraw posted a comment on Thursday 19th April 2007 11:32am

The resumption of YOR is the best HP news since HBP was announced. Of course, I am much more confident that YOR-R will be a million times more enjoyable. Can't wait to see how it goes. Welcome back, Mike.

BJH posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 11:26pm

I'm really glad that you are back and up to writing. It's good to see this story again. I like these four chapters, you've set up the characters nicely with none of them being too perfect. You've given us views of faults in almost all of them. Some more notable ones are Dumbledore's being petty when things don't do how he wants them; his destruction of Gringott's property to try to prevent Harry from signing was well played, I wonder how the Goblins feel about Albus now? Remus being torn between his loyalty to Dumbledore and his feelings and now duty to Harry. Then, of course, there's Harry himself, you given us a well drawn teen in him. He wants to take control yet is afraid of it as well. He needs support but is unsure of where to seek it and whom to trust. Very realistic and still compelling.

I wonder if he will get around to asking some, in my opinion, rather important questions? One is, as I alluded to, who has Remus' first loyalty? Is he dumbledore's man or will Harry's wellfare take priority? the second is, who owns the Lion's Den and what protections are on it? Is it Harry's as Dobby alludes to but doesn't say outright? Or is it Lupin's, which would explain Dobby's round about-ness? Or is it Dumbledore's and has Harry simply changed one cage for another?

I look forward, as always, to your updates.

BJH

Ray D. Elliott posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 7:49pm

The stories are very good. I am very impressed. Keep up the great work.

The Midnight Poster posted a comment on Wednesday 18th April 2007 12:29pm

At times like these it's a good thing it's been so long between updates. I have forgotten the story so much it's all new to me! :)

MrRobertsIII posted a comment on Tuesday 17th April 2007 11:45pm

Liked Scrimgeour.

MrRobertsIII posted a comment on Tuesday 17th April 2007 11:14pm

I think I like your old version more.

While I haven't reread it recently, I believe your old one had more description in it. This chapter felt too bare.

Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Tuesday 17th April 2007 10:06pm

Nice section,a nd the conversation between Remus and Harry just worked gret. Can't wait to see what else falls out form this, as well as how this will continue to change Harry here.

John posted a comment on Tuesday 17th April 2007 11:27am

This sentence looked out of place:

"I loved Sirius like a brother — we all did. But he was a child trapped in an adult body. He was selfish, judgmental, impetuous, demanding… and when he wrote his will, he was trapped. Dumbledore wouldn’t let him leave, not even for a moment. He hated this house with every fibre of his being. I imagine that in some ways, it was worse for him here than in Azkaban. He didn’t trust Dumbledore at all on matters that concerned you. I think he felt that Dumbledore was doing the same thing to you — trapping you in a horrible place, because he felt it was for your own good."

From the context, it seems like Remus is talking about Grimmauld Place, not the Lion's Den - did I miss something, or was this an editing glitch?

Grand to be reading this again - although I'll miss the meandering of the older story.

Keep writing, I'll keep reading.

J

Full_Pensieve replied:

Glitches, glitches and more glitches - grrr.   As I said to OneEye, it's clear evidence of how long it's actually been since I've written very much.   I don't use track changes at work very much (embarrassing to admit that my assistant carries most of that water for me now), and it shows.   Thanks for the catch, J!

Cheers, Mike [FP]

MrRobertsIII posted a comment on Tuesday 17th April 2007 11:20am

liked it better when Dudley drove them.

Full_Pensieve replied:

This was actually a significant debate back in the day, for those who have followed YoR for 3 or 4 years.   I've been back and forth on it at least twice amongst the many edits I've done over time.   In Redux I've gone back to a  prior version in some respects, with Tonks cast as the crazy driver instead of Dudley.  

Cheers, Mike [FP]

Ingerslev71 posted a comment on Tuesday 17th April 2007 10:39am

One possible oversight in your rewrite of this chapter. At the beginning of Harry's phone call to Hermione, she says:

"I hear from you for the first time since King’s Cross - on the telephone, no less — after no letters, no owls, not a sign of you all summer long, and you have the NERVE to ask me that? ‘How has your summer been’?

You seem to have changed the first part of the conversation to remove the question she says Harry asked, so this no longer makes sense.

Other than that, though, I'm enjoying the small changes you've made, and I look forward to reading the rest of the story as it progresses.

Full_Pensieve replied:

Ah, the joys of track changes: lost the last part of Harry's dialogue there.   Still more evidence of how little I've actually written in the last two years, eh?   Good catch, OneEye - thanks!

Cheers,

Mike [FP]  

Melferd posted a comment on Tuesday 17th April 2007 9:52am

*Wails* But I just started rereading it this weekend!!!
I'm thrilled to see this one continuing...but..wordy fun...liked the old version..

Thank you for writing this story...will try not to pout like a child who's old favorite toy is altered.
Mel

Full_Pensieve replied:

ROTFL!   I'll try not to break your toy in the process.   Thanks for re-reading, though.   I'm going to repost the old version in a sense.   My MS Word master copy will be going up under the "Other Formats" link as soon as I have time to remove my edit marks, etc.   This will probably shape up as a grittier, more angular version of YoR  - my life and  literary influences have changed notably over a four year period.   Changes in worldview = changes in approach.   I do want to remove extraneous details, though -  makes it easier for me to track everything as I move past what used to be CH 35.

Cheers, Mike [FP]                                          

Bedrup posted a comment on Tuesday 17th April 2007 6:46am

Liked your story the first time around, and I ´m going to reread it as you publish this new version. So far it ´s definately worth it. Like yhe nocturnal emissions joke, but you were hitting us over the head with it. Just a tad.

Full_Pensieve replied:

LOL!   Thanks for the comment, Bedrup.   Redux actually has one fewer reference to the remark in the letter.   In  the previous version,  Tonks gigged Harry about it as well when she and Lupin picked up Harry at Privet Drive.

Cheers, Mike [FP]

 

Prince Charon posted a comment on Tuesday 17th April 2007 6:18am

Interesting. Very, very interesting.

Thank you for the update.

More soon, please.

Ryu Son Goku posted a comment on Tuesday 17th April 2007 4:17am

This version does seem to flow better than the last version. Can't wait to get the rest of it. Looking forward to more chapters.