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Reviews

brad posted a comment on Friday 26th February 2010 8:37pm

What a nice surprise to see something 'new' from you!

Doubly so because of the FP humour in the story; I'm not sure there was very much comedy in YoR or Last Horcrux (lots of angst and drama and action and magic and romance and characterisation ... but not that many jokes). Anyway, I found myself grinning widely while reading this, and I laughed out loud - which doesn't happen all that often - with this exchange:

> "What is it?" asked Harry.
>
> "This, Potter, is a contract," Mr. Grimm said.
>
> "A contract?" Harry said.
>
> Mr. Grimm said, 'No, it's a bog roll. Do you enjoy repeating after me? *Yes, it's a contract*. ..."

Grinning madly again as I typed the above. Yes, it was good stuff to see your funny bone in use. Which was the case from the set go, with the running gag about Harry being a 'bad luck charm', worse than blowing up a mirror factory, running a marathon under ladders, everyone quick to pass him off, etc. Grimm had something of a straight man with Harry in this tale. :-)

I also liked the occasional swipes at canon - idiot wizards with a "near-universal lack of critical thinking" (I think Grimm and Hermione would be good friends) ... not really understanding that 'Master of Death' business (join the club, Harry) ... loved the reversal of Narcissa NOT lying to Voldemort (that never made sense to me; lie or not lie, she would still end up at at the castle to look for Draco) ... the weakness in the chain of dominoes laughingly called "Dumbledore's Plan" ... some satisfying pot shots here at Rowling's abominable final novel. Which is comforting stuff to read.

Needless to say I greatly enjoyed Gimm's summary of dear Ginny too. "Like their mothers" -- ouch. But that's even in the canon, kind of; Harry looks into Molly's eyes and sees that they're identical to Ginny's, or vice versa, in DH. A bit of an 'ewww' moment, that.

I also liked the extra little hints of Harry's (casual) closeness with Hermione - the two words she had taught him, the "saloon bars in the north that he and Hermione had visited on a handful of occasions, when the monotony of life in a tent was just too much". The latter being much more preferable to his sitting around coldly allowing his distaff best friend to sob herself to sleep, night after night, in isolated distress over Won Won's betrayal.

I found myself spending a few hours thinking about this chapter in the background of my mind, wistfully wishing that there was a quality H/Hr 'redo' story out there. I've read two or three really excellent fanfics along those lines, but they've been aligned with the canon couplings ... which I'm detesting more and more these days.

(I just can't understand why so many fanfic authors are content to write about H/G, which is really nothing more than 'boy meets pretty girl'. When there's H/Hr just sitting there, with seven years of solid canon material to use. All those H/G stories which have to start from the relative vacuum of "Harry kissed Ginny, she tried to kiss him for his birthday, nothing happened, let's pick things up from after the battle". When a H/Hr story has all of that canon material as a foundation to make any fanfic an order of magnitude more solid. Arrrrgh!)

Anyway, I found myself thinking about Harry's choice of a jump-off point, and liking it more and more. While I have to concede that there was no (overt) romance between Harry and Hermione in the series, and that even before the puerile nonsense of the sixth book, when anything was still possible, Harry hadn't picked up on any special vibes coming from Hermione, their working together as a team to save Buckbeak and Sirius at the end of PoA was one of the first and most intense H/Hr moments in the canon. Lots of H/Hr fans liked the idea of the two of them flying together on Buckbeak's back and so forth.

And one can't help but wonder ... okay, the Full Pensieve 'soul mate' isn't all ringing bells and sirens, but if Harry were to go back to that day just a little bit more disposed towards seeing Hermione for what she really was, for appreciating her just that little bit more ... how might the canon text be rewritten? Add in the fact that your redo!Harry would be that much more mentally mature, more of a match for Hermione (maybe that's all that was really stopping H/Hr in the first place) ... and yeah, perhaps there'd be a tender moment on the back of the hippogryff, with Hermione relaxing a little bit more, or Harry picking up on what could have been - and what was, for many H/Hr fans - a tender moment. I know I've read a few H/Hr fanfics where Hermione - unknown to we readers, who saw things only through Harry's oblivious eyes - fell in love with her best friend at that point.

Ah well. I've only read PoA once, and likewise seen the movie just once, and the movie has possibly supplanted the book in my memories a bit. I know the movie had that day set up largely as "Hermione's show", with her taking charge and running things, telling Harry what to do from the first surprise of unveiling her time turner. But deal in a more mature Harry who can match Hermione with some good ideas - on that occasion, anyway, being prepared as he is - and she'd see a lot more in him, certainly, I'd warrant. And your Harry has been told there's a lot more to her.

Something nice to think about, although it maddens me again that the two or three excellent redo stories I've read have 'wasted' all of the canon by sticking with the vapour of H/G instead. There's so much more satisfaction in reading a fanfic which can use the existing canon material - that's the whole idea of fan fiction, fiction based on the substance of the original work - than a story that has Harry go back to first year and set up a brand-new H/G relationship from scratch, something which simply has nothing in common with the original series, and thus lacks all of the 'cleverness' in seizing the original work and 'twisting' it to suit the story's aims.

Sorry, I'll be quiet now. Just been frustrated lately.

Anyway, it was a good and interesting set-up that you wrote, the humour was great (and something relatively unique to my FP experience) and it was good to be jogged into some mental activity in thinking about why you might have picked that PoA moment for maybe the dawning of a H/Hr romantic relationship.

Thanks for publishing this work. I hope things are going well for you!

Ken Warner posted a comment on Friday 26th February 2010 3:36pm

This is the 3rd iteration of a response to this challenge that I have seen in the last 6 weeks or so, and a great deal of fun.

thanks for a tremendously enjoyable story, some great visuals, and that punchline is great.

your generosity in sharing your talent is appreciated

Minerva Granger posted a comment on Friday 26th February 2010 8:48am

Fascinating. Shame it's abandoned. Very funny, in a weird sort of way. I hope someone else comes up with some ideas for it, or you suddenly have an inspiration. Good luck with your writing MOJO.

Uldihaa posted a comment on Friday 26th February 2010 7:43am

I'm kinda sad that this won't be continued. I love the way you keep Harry's Death pretty pissed off with him through-out. I'd want to read more just for Ross's comments on wizards/witches and their collective, and rampant, stupidity!

I like the idea of Ross continually busting Harry's balls and trying to keep him from utterly screwing up AGAIN! And 'Pulling a Potter' being used in the HereAfter is comic gold, I'd have loved to see Harry actually hear it used in front of him... might just incline him toward thinking a bit before acting.

Wolfric posted a comment on Friday 26th February 2010 1:56am

This is fun and has many possibilities but you can't get milk from a stone. Thanks for writing. W.

romero posted a comment on Friday 26th February 2010 1:55am

Thanks for the very amusing tale.

AlaskanKing posted a comment on Thursday 25th February 2010 8:57pm

I like it. Too bad you aren't going to continue, because this would be an excellent story. I like the way you portray the characters. very believable.

takon65 posted a comment on Thursday 25th February 2010 8:53pm

Too bad that you're not going to continue this. I enjoyed it

Keronshara posted a comment on Thursday 25th February 2010 8:49pm

Thank you for giving a realistic version of what soulmates are. Sick of the stupid fanon version of soulmates/soul bonds too.

I enjoyed your take on this challenge.

dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Thursday 25th February 2010 8:32pm

Seem to follow canon, dump on Harry equals success.

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Thursday 25th February 2010 8:06pm

<snicker> A fun tweak on that challenge. Personally, I'd love to see you tackle finishing the story (right after finishing cracked vessel, of course) 'cause I like your take on things. I think you've picked a good "return-to" spot and I'd love to see how a "wised-up" Harry would deal with things.

thekev posted a comment on Thursday 25th February 2010 7:53pm

I really like this version of the challenge I hope you see fit to take it on through at some point.

Lee Dickie posted a comment on Thursday 25th February 2010 6:28pm

Great twist on the redo theme.

Bob Officer posted a comment on Thursday 25th February 2010 5:41pm

I like it. Humorous, and just the tight touch of outlandishness. Rips into the cult of Bumbles, almost enough. (I personally consider Dumbledore as bad as Riddle, if not worse.)

I would like to see this 'rewind'. Could he save Sirius from the Arch? Avoid being isolated every summer? Stop the resurrection in the graveyard? Dodge the infatuation with "Cho the Hosepipe"?

and Ross Grimm as an adviser. Interesting. I do hope you fill this one out better.

Neil Glover posted a comment on Thursday 25th February 2010 5:37pm

Great chapter. I would love to see this extended in to a series.

blogquerty posted a comment on Thursday 25th February 2010 4:14pm

Nice to see you work on this challenge. And Harry doesn't get extra powers. Good.
As they say, let the games begin...

Ali posted a comment on Thursday 25th February 2010 3:58pm

Quite funny - it's a shame it's discarded. The idea is great, and I love your interpretation of soul mates. Still glad I got to read it even if there's nothing to follow!

Charles Newton posted a comment on Thursday 25th February 2010 3:42pm

Excellent! Harry goes back to third year for the repeat, hopefully begins to brush off the Red Menace while snuggling up to Hermione, and *hopefully* doesn't get killed...
I wants more!

OlorinBlack posted a comment on Thursday 25th February 2010 2:51pm

LOL! Oh, I just love this beginning. "Pulling a Potter" indeed!

Are you sure that you won't continue this, though? I'd love to see what changes you'd make in it.

Clell65619 posted a comment on Thursday 25th February 2010 1:29pm

- Wow. I haven't read of an afterlife this... unheavenly since Heinlein's Job: A comedy of justice. Very well done.

- Nice story, and more than a bit of fun.